雅思写作：教师指点剑9范文解析

剑9 text3  task2

考官范文分析

Some people sy that the best way to improve public health is by inmcreasing the number of sports facilities. Others , however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. 

Discuss both these views and give your opinion. 

该题目是属于2选1的题目（讨论双方的观点给出自己的观点），因此题目必须对正反双方的观点进行分析，但是很多考生可能在考试的时候会注重与论证前者的观点而因想不出后者观点中具体的方法有哪些，忽略了后者的论证。但其实已经在雅思写作的评分标准中TA这一项上 （任务的完成度）失分，即是部分离题。其次，题目出出现的the best 这个绝对词，一般过于绝对的词逻辑上都存在漏洞。

A problem of modern societies is the declining level of health in the general population, with conflicting views on how to tackle this worrining trend. One possible soultion is to provide more sports facilities to encourage a more active lifestyle.

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开头段：背景句+提出话题

Advocates 名词 of this believe that today’s sedentary lifestyle and stressful working conditions mean that physical activity is no longer part of either our work or our leisure time. If there were easy-to-reach local sports centres, we would be more likely to make exercise a regular part of our lives, rather than just collapsing in front of a screen every evening. The variety of sports that could be offered would cater for all ages, levels of fitness and interest: those with painful memories of PE at school might be happier in the swimming pool than on the football pitch.

本段对于第一种观点进行讨论。指出目前的生活状态是缺乏运动，工作压力大。如果有可以方便前往的运动中心，也许也会有更多的人去运动，而不是每晚对着电脑。

However, there may be better ways of tackling this problem. Interest in sport is not universal , and additional facilities might simple attract the already fit, not those who most need them.Physical acticity could be encouraged relatively cheaply, for example by installing exercise equipment in parks, as lcoal councial has done. This has the added benefit that parents and children often use them together just for fun, which develops a positive attitude to exercise at an early age.

本段讨论观点2 其他的增进公众健康的方式。理由是：不是每个人都喜欢运动，增加运动设施的数量只会吸引到已经健康的运动爱好者，而不是真正需要这些设备的人。所以其他方式如在社区安装健身器具，会有更多父母带孩子来一起健身。

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As well as physical activiey,high tax penalties could be imposed on high-fat food products, tobacco and alcohol, as excessive consumption of any of these contribute to poor health. Even improving public transport would help: it takes longer to walk to the bus stop than to the car.

方法2 鼓励人们对于高热量的食品，烟草和酒类征收惩罚性的高赋税。

In my opinion, focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and would not have desired results. People should be encouraged not only to be more physically active but also to adopt a healthier lifestyle in general.

结尾 给出了自己的观点

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