从2个实例看雅思作文错误背后的玄机

“模板”大概是考生们的最爱了——爱收集、爱背诵。可是，我们遗憾的发现，大多背模板的同学，最后拿到的写作分数是不理想的。下面我们通过两个例子，来看看雅思写作有哪些需要格外注意的细节。

例一：

People have, in recent years, shown concern on the dire consequences of global warming and air pollution. Some people suggest that we should limit are travel (traveling) instead of car use. It seems to me that the objection against air travel is based on incorrect facts and stereotypes. (The) Vehicle is an integral segment of urban industrial civilization, mirroring contemporary life, in its best and unrest aspects.

Just as machinery is integral to industrialization, air is central to world economy. (有逻辑关系吗?)Air travels make it possible for people to move around the world freely and quickly. Today, the tips can be completed in a matter of hours. One can attend a meeting in Pairs and dinner in New York the same day.

There is a growing recognition that air travels have several advantages, while（连接词使用有误，改成meanwhile）it can (补上主语) ensures（删掉s）the growth of modern business such as international tourism, transportation and express delivery ,etc. Therefore, limiting air travel itself is a grave mistake ，that（非限定从句引导词改成which）would be a severe blow to these industries and may even damage world economy.

 例二：

As can be seen from the table chart, it gives us the percentage of national consumer experience by category in 2002 in five different countries.

“As can be seen from…”被认为是小作文必备经典句。但是，句子虽好，而native speaker 常把它放在主体段落开头句。再者，雅思考官会认为是table就是表格，也就是图的一种，还后面要是再加chart，再来一图。难不成要翻译成“表格图图”？

再看us一词，虽然看似亲民接地气；但是，雅思写作是半学术文体，这词总有点较为随意。所以换成it can be seen 或是it represents that 等句，或许会更好点。还有单复数的问题，看看这个这个percentage——我们都知道，衣服表格不可能只有一个数据，所以怎么能弄错名词单复数问题呢？最后那个“in 2002 in five different countries”，语法老师告诉我们：当句子中同时有地点状语和时间状语时，一般要把地点状语放在时间状语之前 。

 读完不知道同学们是不是有所收获呢？其实文章开头不一定写的如何华丽，简单、全面，能够统领全文，就是极好的了。

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	姓名：赵敏   电话：0571-28862299 电子邮箱：waiyushinyway@sina 所在地点：杭州市西湖区天目山路135-145号玉泉大厦2楼 擅长科目：雅思、托福、SAT
【专业资历】
教育背景：浙江农林大学、英语专业八级。 教授科目：雅思阅读、听力、写作，托福阅读，SAT阅读、写作。 授课风格：严谨不失风趣，善于掌控课堂，针对学生的实际情况加以引导。 学员评价：幽默、风趣，平易近人。课堂教学结合知识结构的特点，重点突出、层次分明，利于消化理解。
【成功案例】
邬同学，雅思阅读8.5分。 葛同学，雅思阅读8.5分。 闫同学，雅思阅读8分。 宋同学，雅思阅读8分。 熊同学，雅思阅读8分。 潘同学，雅思阅读8分。