雅思写作中常出现的语意问题

学生说横看竖看这句子都是对的？元芳，你肿么看喂？
1. As can be seen, the change of the percentage of the Sweden and USA have a slight increase from 1940 to 1995.
2. The main fuel resource, 50 units of electricity was produced by coal.
3. Compared with Brazil, the water consumption per person of Congo is 8km3.
4. They are not old enough to distinguish what are the good things and tell the bad things.
5. This because, although, lots of parents could not provide enough knowledge for their children even they graduated from a famous college.
6. Although we are living in an era of information, we can receive a lot of interesting news, ideas and messages.
7. Cellphone is multi-functional and we can take a good advantage of it.
8. With the development of society, we should find a new way to teach children and help them a lot. 

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修改后：
1. The change of 去掉。As can be seen, Sweden as well as USA has a slight increase in percentage of population over 65 years old from 1940 to 1995.
2. 同位语放在一起。The main fuel resource, coal generated 50 units of electricity.
3. 比较对象要一致。Compared with the water consumption per person of Brazil, Congo’s is 8km3.
4. And产生歧义且句子不简洁。它并列的是distinguish和tell这两个动词还是what后的句子呢？改后为：They are not old enough to distinguish the good from the bad.
5. 突然灵感来了，单词就Duang~~Duang乱入了。改为Although lots of parents graduated from famous colleges, they could not provide enough knowledge for their children.
6. 生活在信息时代和接收大量信息，这两者之间是没有转折关系的。Since we are living in an era of information, we can receive a lot of interesting news, ideas and messages.
7. 两个句子之间是有明显逻辑关系的。原句语法上没有问题，但如果用连词体现句内关系就更好了。Cellphone is multi-functional, so we can take good advantage of it.
8. With the development of society和什么都有关系吗？这里的模糊联系给人的感觉好牵强，不要闹，万能理由真不是这么用的。还有什么叫help them a lot？how？how much？

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