雅思写作中如何用有限词汇量完成更好的文章

雅思写作的学习大致分为三个阶段：1. 学习写作技巧;2. 积累写作语言; 3. 真题模拟训练。第一个阶段一般由老师带领完成;第二个阶段，自主性比较强的烤鸭可以独立完成，反之则还是需要老师带领。而第三个阶段的主体主要就是烤鸭们自己啦，那么如何将自己写完的文章在自己词汇范围内有效提升呢?老师精心编排了这个学生习作的修改过程，希望对自主学习的烤鸭们有些助益。
　　p.s.所谓能力范围内的词汇是指，看见认识但自己不一定会用，或者压根就会但是没想到要用的，而绝非生词。
　　例题：(12-01-14)
　　Nowadays, it is widely accepted that social skills are as important as good qualifications for success in a job.
　　To what extent do you agree or disagree?
　　开头段：
　　学生习作：
　　At present, more and more people think the key to success in a job is not only good qualifications, but also social skills. I completely agree with that they both are very essential to workers who want to be successful.
　　教师修改：
　　(1) At present，——具体化——The modern society with intensive competition
　　(2) more and more people think the key to success in a job——词汇升级——increasing numbers of people to think about the key to success in one’s occupation.
　　(3) not only good qualifications, but also social skills. I completely agree with that they both are very essential to workers who want to be successful——词汇升级+句子简化——not only good qualifications but social skills as well contribute to an employer who desires to be successful
　　完整版呈现：
　　The modern society with intensive competition causes increasing numbers of people to think about the key to success in one’s occupation. Personally, not only good qualifications but social skills as well contribute to an employer who desires to be successful.
　　主体段1:
　　学生习作：
　　Having good qualifications is necessary. Good qualifications include education background, which can prove that you have got good education and internship experience，which help you to earn a company’s trust. What is more, talent like a diploma in a wide-ranged competition, which also means you are intelligent and you are adequate for a job. The competition of finding a job is going more severe, a good qualification gives you a short cut to find a job first, and then you can start going to be successful in it. Actually, good qualifications play a significant role on the way you are going to succeed in a job.
　　教师修改：
　　(1) having good qualifications is necessary——具体化——Undeniably, having good qualifications is necessary (both in finding and adapting to a certain position).
　　(2) Good qualifications include education background, which can prove that you have got good education and internship experience，which help you to earn a company’s trust.——结构比较散乱，看不清主旨+词汇升级——Good qualifications include education background that can prove one’s academic level and internship experience that can indicate the person’s skills to some degree, which will facilitate an applicant earning a company’s trust immediately.
　　(3) What is more, talent like a diploma in a wide-ranged competition, which also means you are intelligent and you are adequate for a job. ——语法结构用得比较散+简化+具体化——What is more, (具体化while working), other talents (简化with a certification in a wide-ranged competition) also mean(简化you are intelligent and adequate)( 具体化for more tasks in a job), (具体化thus providing you with more opportunities to show and behave yourself).
　　(4) The competition of finding a job is going more severe, a good qualification gives you a short cut to find a job first, and then you can start going to be successful in it.——用词不当，表意不清——链接Obviously, a good qualification gives one a shortcut (具体化to find a suitable job first), and then (信息重组bring about a stage to access to achieve goals in career), under the severe competitive circumstances.

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