2014年8月9日雅思写作真题解析及高分范文

2014年8月9日雅思写作真题解析及高分范文

Task2：
　　Some people think government should ban dangerous sports and some others think it is a freedom to choose the activities we want to. Discuss both view and give your opinion. 有人认为政府应该禁止年轻人们从事危险性的运动,有人认为人们有自由选择自己喜欢的运动方式,讨论两种观点, 给出你的意见. （2011年7月30日）

　　原创范文赏析：

首段：背景介绍
　　Such is a human nature to explore and experience the unknown. A trend is that numerous people are fond of embarking on challenging sports events, such as mountain biking, rock climbing and scuba diving, especially among those dynamic young adults. Those who pursue excitement and the sense of refreshment in the dull routine daily life claim that life without risk is no life at all.（65）
　　翻译：探究和体验未知的世界是人之本性, 当下, 很多人,尤其是精力充沛的年轻人, 喜欢从事充满挑战的竞技体育项目, 例如山地自行车, 攀岩和海底潜水等。那些喜欢在枯燥的，日复一日的生活中追求刺激和新鲜的人声称, 人生没有冒险就不能称其为人生。
　　点评：首段自然开篇，没有争议焦点和写作意图，没有模版痕迹，留下想象空间。
　　语料库：
　　1.Such is a human nature to…… 做……是人之本性
　　2.embark on = undertake = take up v 从事……
　　3.dynamic = energetic adj精力充沛的
　　4.challenging adj 充满挑战性的
　　5.perilous = dangerous = risky adj 危险的

二段：我的口吻谈及极限运动的利好：
　　Granted, a great many virtues could be gained via undertaking those risky or demanding sports activities. Primarily, the extreme adventures can be taken as is a sort of effective way to help players relieve their pressure and relax their mood， because the occupied modern life often deprive one's right of seeking relaxation. The popularity of bungee jumping accounts for risky sports' significant function in terms of reducing stress. Imaginably, one's working or study efficiency could be highly enhanced after doing his or her favorite sports events. Moreover, not only can the extreme adventures exert wholesome impacts, but also it could foster one's skills, chasten one's tenacity and forge one's frustration toleration. Some extreme adventures，such as rock climbing and surfing， requires high techniques or much perseverance. Ultimately, the extreme adventures could be developed into tempting tourism items, which could generate immense economic value.（143）
　　翻译：的确，从事极限运动利好很多。 第一, 这是一种极佳的方式帮助运动者缓解压力, 愉悦心情, 因为紧张的现代生活已经剥夺了人们放松休闲的权利。蹦极运动的流行就解释了运动在缓解压力方面的积极作用。可以想象, 运动之后,人们的工作学习效率都会提高。另外, 极限运动不仅仅有益健康, 还能培养人的技巧, 磨砺人的坚韧性以及铸造人的挫折忍受力, 一些运动, 例如攀岩和冲浪, 就需要人有极高的技巧和毅力。 最后, 极限运动可以开发成热门的旅游项目, 创造巨大的经济价值。
　　点评： 极限运动就是运动的利好, 就是户外活动的利好, 就是体育课的利好。第一点可以从健康缓解压力的角度展开。第二点论及到精神成面，用三剑客短语才艺展示一下。第三个论据可以上升到旅游经济。
　　语料库：
　　1.accounts for v解释了……
　　2.in terms of adv 在……方面
　　3.deprive one's right of …… v剥夺某人……的权利
　　4.the extreme adventures n极限运动
　　5.exert wholesome impacts v有益健康
　　6.foster one's skills, chasten one's tenacity and forge one's frustration toleration v培养人的技巧，磨砺人的坚韧性以及铸造人的挫折忍受力。

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三段：谈及极限运动的弊端：
　　Nonetheless, problems invariably ensue. One possible downside is that some perilous sports activities might become the roots of injuries and agonies. There exist high levels of injuries, which sometimes disable players and even ruin their whole lives. Another adverse aspect is that some intense extreme sports are merely an excuse for violence. To illustrate, boxing involves excessive violence and bloody contents so that it imposes adverse impact on adolescent TV viewers, namely, it might arouse their sadistic impulse.（78）
　　翻译：然而, 问题随之而来。第一， 危险性极高的运动可能会导致意外受伤和痛苦。这些意外有可能导致人的残疾或者毁掉人的一生。第二， 一些剧烈的极端运动会成为暴力的借口。例如, 拳击比赛含有太多的暴力和血腥, 对于年轻人有不良的影响, 例如诱发他们的施虐冲动。
　　点评：弊端写成出两点, 理性客观. 模版个性化,路标词汇清晰，行文有亮点.
　　语料库：
　　1.problems invariably ensue 问题随之发生
　　2.disable players v导致运动者残疾
　　3.imposes adverse impact on …… v施加了不良影响
　　4.namely adv即是说
　　5.It might arouse their sadistic impulse 引起他们施虐冲动

雅思写作难拿高分？NO！你只是缺少专业意见 　

　　总结：亮明观点
　　Personally, I encourage the extreme adventures, for it is a symbol of freedom, so it is citizens' elementary right to opt for his or her favorite sports activities. Efforts should be made to ensure risky sports events are thrilling, amusing and profit-making, however, to prevent accident and injury is highly recommended.  （52）
　　翻译：个人而言, 我十分鼓励极限运动，这是自由的象征，这是公民的基本权利选择自己喜欢的运动。我们应该努力保证运动的刺激，有趣和盈利，但是, 采取措施去预防受伤和意外又是高度推荐的。
　　点评：尾段亮明立场，针对弊端再提出解决策略，观点无懈可击。

　　语料库：
　　1.efforts should be made to …… 我们应该努力做……
　　2.are thrilling, amusing and profit-making adj 刺激的，有趣的和盈利的。
　　3.opt for his or her favorite sports activities v选择喜欢的运动

　　全文点评： 文无定法，小鹏哥原创范文只是雅思范文写作之一种。本文自然开篇，摒弃常规写法，主题留有悬念。主体段落自然论证极限运动的利弊，尾段亮明立场，针对弊端再提出解决策略，观点无懈可击。全文约280字，刚好在40分钟可以完成。自我评分这篇文章会7.5分以上。

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