雅思口语：圣诞节小笑话

The thief and the judge
　　It was Christmas and the judge was in a benevolent mood as he questioned the prisoner. "What are you charged with?" he asked.
　　"Doing my christmas shopping early," replied the defendant.
　　"That's no offense," replied the judge, "How early were you doing this shopping?"
　　"Before the store opened," countered the prisoner.

法官与小偷
　　那天是圣诞节，法官在审讯犯人时也有点恻隐之心。“你为什么而被起诉？”他问。
　　“采购圣诞节物品过早。”被告答。
　　“这不算犯法，”法官回答，“你购物多早？”
　　在商店开门之前，“犯人应道。

Jesus's Telly
　　A child on Christmas time asked for some paper and crayons in order to draw a crib. Eventually the artistic masterpiece was displayed for parental approval. The manager, the shepherds, Jesus and Holy Family wore duly admired.
　　"But what's that in the corner?" asked Mother.
　　"Oh, that's their telly," replied the tot.

耶稣的电视机
　　圣诞节时孩子要了纸和蜡笔，想画一张耶稣诞生像。最后这件艺术品被陈列出来供父母鉴赏。
　　他们对耶稣诞生后睡的马槽，牧羊人，耶稣及其家庭都逐一表示赞赏。
　　“可是那个角落里是什么？”妈妈问。
　　“噢，那是他们的电视机，”孩子回答说。

What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?
　　Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe

圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么？
　　答案：锄地。（英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。）

On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel. Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill 　　lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?
　　Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起？
　　答案：当然是圣诞老人啦！为什么？因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

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