托福独立写作怎样才能丰富自己的论证？

 主要重点考察的是学生的审题能力、逻辑思维能力、文章内容丰富性以及对英语运用的熟练度。其中对于论点的论证环节，是很多考生所欠缺的。没有足够的论证以支持自己的论点，好比一个枯瘦如柴的人，这样的文章在阅卷老师那里是很难那到高分的。下面我们就和大家聊聊如何把的文章论证写丰满，从而取得高成绩。

首先让我们先看一段学生的习作，题目为：

Schools should be more focused on improving facilities(libraries, computers, or labs) for students than on hiring famous teachers.（学校应该更加注重改善学生的设施（图书馆、计算机、实验室），而不是聘请教师。）

以下是学生的论证环节：

Moreover, famous teachers can not only bring experiences and methods but also a celebrity effect which would attract more intelligent and genius teachers and students to university, which will be beneficial to the fame and rank of it. For instance, there is a tendency that universities around the world are battling for well-known and talented scientists in every area. Apart from what I said above, some implicit advantages cannot be exposed casually but rather an in-depth way to exist.

本来本段例证是为了具体解释说明topic sentence（主题句）中的分论点，但为什么看完例证还是觉得晦涩难懂呢？火眼金睛的你能否发现当中存在的问题呢？

下面我们就来为大家一一拆解。

问题1：大学拥有famous teachers（教师）的优点之一，是利用名人效应吸引更多有聪明才智的同学和老师，从而有利于提高学校的名气和排名。为什么会有这种效果？在接下来的论证中我们没有读出具体的解释，同为中国人我们看了尚且有不知所云的感受，何况是要评判我们作文的考官呢？彻底看晕了！究其原因，例证的部分不够具体，也就是没有解释清楚。

问题2：Apart from what I said above, some implicit advantages cannot be exposed casually but rather an in-depth way to exist. 这句字面意思是说：除此之外，一些潜在的（暗含的）优点不能轻易说出，而是以更深刻的方式存在。这是老外最忌讳的语言，潜在的优点到底是什么？什么又是更深刻的方式？一定要明白告知，才称得上论证具体。

中国人喜欢表达含蓄内敛，但在托福独立写作中，同学们一定切记：含蓄内敛的风格要收起来，因为老外不欣赏，我们要做到表达要清晰具体。举个简单的小例子，你要解释一个人漂亮，那么不能总笼统地说她的确漂亮，而是要具体分成几个层次说，比如：眼睛漂亮，身材好，心地善良。为何心地善良，如她经常帮互助同学解决学习中的难题等。

刚刚那一段我们做一下修改，同学们看了心里是否有焕然一新的感觉呢？

Moreover, famous teachers can bring about a celebrity effect which will attract more students to enter the university for pursuing their academic goals. For instance, by employing a teacher whose special concentration is in accounting, a university is able to publicize its accounting department by introducing one of the famous professors and his or her professional accomplishment and unique teaching method.  Compared with abstract theories in accounting field from books in the library,  a famous professor’s  explanation in class and guidance after class is definitely more attractive to students who want to learn something in this specific academic field. Normally, having famous professors is taken for granted as an important factor in ranking universities. Therefore, in the long run, it will be beneficial to the fame and ranking of  the university. 

文章修改总结：我们看一下修改完的段落为什么比之前的表达更清楚。其中pursuing their academic goals,  accounting,  professional accomplishment, guidance, teaching method 等都是具体的词，改过之后，这段的论证更加清晰具体了。

中同学们经常遇到的问题是表达太过干瘪，不能用具体丰富，形象生动的论证来支撑自己的观点，亦或是虽然主体段写了很多，但是没有展开与topic sentence 相关的论证。我们一定要谨记一点：主体段一定要展开具体的论证，把例子解释清楚，把道理说明白。