从雅思写作实例看定语从句的使用

语法在我们的雅思写作中是非常重要的一个考察点。我们给出评分标准中语法部分7分的要求：Grammatical range and accuracy ：uses a variety of complex structures / produces frequent error-free sentences。 而其中的定语从句一定是在我们很多学生的写作中必不可少的一类句式。今天我们就通过学生的一篇作文来看看定语从句在使用过程中要注意的一些问题。

文章题目： Some people think that citizens should be totally responsible for their own health costs. Others think it is better to have a health care system which provides free health services for all. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

学生作文：

There have always been controversies in the healthcare system of about whether people should take out private health insurance or not. The following will discuss two views of medical care fields. My opinion is that people should be privately insured who can afford it, but government should provide a safety net for people in need.

Citizens should take out private health insurance by themselves who have financial strength. It is a sensible way that not only reduces the cost of government to invest money in other places in need but also give people a choice of hospitals and services who are able to pay for it.

In spite of this, most people cannot afford the high medical fees, which should be provided free health insurance premium. No matter what standard of income someone has or what society someone comes from, everyone should have the right to have a basic medical care. Therefore, it is necessary for the government to provide free health care to everyone.

On my part, people live in poverty, such as people who are unemployed and jobless, are entitled to be free whereas the majority of people who have a steady source of income should allocate a small proportion of their salary to take out private health insurance by themselves.

从这篇文章中我们可以看出，用不同颜色标出来的句子都是定语从句中使用有问题的部分。下面我们来分析一下这几个句子，看看到底是什么问题。

1. 黄线标出来的部分我们可以发现作为定语从句部分但是并不是修饰前面的词汇，主要原因在于作者在写的时候没有把从句和引导词跟在所修饰的先行词后面，所以才出现了指代不清。

2. 红线标出来的句子主要是which指代前面的词汇或者前面这个事件。 当事件在这里解释不通，可是如果指前面的费用，跟后面的应该被提供是对的， 可是后面的free health insurance premium 又解释不清楚了，所以还是没有弄懂句子，尤其是which的指代的问题。

3. 粉色的句子在写的时候作者没有注意到其实已经犯了一个句子两个谓语动词的问题，live in， are entitled to 两个谓语部分并列出现。其实这个句子我们的改法当然不止一种，而定语从句就是其中一个。所以这个句子我们可以在people后面加上who， 这样整个句子就解决了语法的问题。

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