从托福评分标准角度看如何提高独立写作分数

 　　今天分享一篇托福写作方面的干货文章，希望对大家有帮助。

　　我们必须首先要全面了解托福写作评分标准，才能够有针对性方向的去练习备考。那么，让我们一起从托福写作官方评分标准角度来分析独立写作中对于考生写作语言的要求。

　　根据下列展示的评分标准，不难发现，ETS对于各个分数段的文章的要求中均将逻辑logic一词放在相当的高度，考察大家文章的论证以及例证证明过程，同时也对写作语言提出了相应要求。然而，虽然看似托福独立写作更为推崇考生的逻辑论证过程，但这并不能成为我们的藉口“语言够用就好”；恰恰相反，根据很多教师的建议和高分考生的备考经验分享，我们可以发现，一套好的书面表达语言恰恰是得到高分的法宝，因为良好的语言表达能力能够能够更为全面的表达考生缜密的逻辑思维，广泛的背景知识和良好的语言操控能力。

　　SCORETASK DEION

　　5An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following:

　　-Effectively addresses the topic and task

　　-Is well organized and well developed, using clearly appropriate explanations, exemplifications, and/or details

　　-Displays unity, progression, and coherence

　　-Displays consistent facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety, appropriate word choice, and idiomatic language, though it may have minor lexical or grammatical errors

　　4An essay at this level largely accomplishes all of the following:

　　-Addresses the topic and task well, though some points may not be fully elaborated

　　-Is generally well organized and well developed, using appropriate and sufficient explanations, exemplifications, and/or details

　　-Displays unity, progression, and coherence, though it may contain occasional redundancy, digression, or unclear connections

　　-Displays facility in the use of language, demonstrating syntactic variety and range of vocabulary, though it will probably have occasional noticeable minor errors in structure, word form, or use of idiomatic language that do not interfere with meaning

　　3An essay at this level is marked by one or more of the following:

　　-Addresses the topic and task using somewhat developed explanations, exemplifications, and/or details

　　-Displays unity, progression, and coherence, though connection of ideas may be occasionally obscured

　　-May demonstrate inconsistent facility in sentence formation and word choice that may result in lack of clarity and occasionally obscure meaning

　　-May display accurate, but limited range of syntactic structures and vocabulary

　　从上述评分标准节选中可以看出，一篇良好（4分）甚至优秀（5分）的文章在语言方面不仅要求我们有丰富且精准的词汇表达能力和衔接自然流畅的语言表达能力，还需要我们能够从篇章中展现出语言用句方面的多样性。但是，究竟如何体现用句方面丰富的多样性，考生似乎存在很大的疑问。大家几乎都有类似的经历，满怀信心的将精心完成的文章交给老师审阅后，却得出Chinglish, awkward expression一类的评价。同学们会很困惑于为什么几乎没有任何语法错误的情况下，教师仍会给我们这样的评价。虽然这些文章没有太多语法错误，但是，文中很多的语句确实在利用英语百分百的字面翻译我们的汉语语句，另外再加上对于英美人士用句习惯缺乏了解，考生很容易在语言表达方面遇到瓶颈，使语言成为写作分数难以提高的瓶颈。

　　根据一些好的范文以及有英语母语人士写出的阅读材料分析，我们不难发现，几乎所有符合Written Standard Formal English这一要求好的文章都具备诸多相同的语言特征，其中，本文将重点浅谈其中两个表达特征，那就是：variety, 以及briefness.

　　Ⅰ VARIETY

　　首先，评分标准中“demonstrating syntactic variety”这一要求来看，ETS将语言表达多样性放在了其语言能力要求的第一位。那么，如何使语言真的变得various，对于绝大多数中国学生来说并不是一个容易的要求，因为大家受汉语语言表达的限制，往往会将全文写作句式和表达逻辑过于单一，不具备语言方面的闪光点。那么，如何将语言变得更加various，以下两个角度为考生们提供了一些新的表达方式供其参考。

　　（1）主语选择方面

　　受汉语限制，中国考生几乎在最初进行写作练习时千篇一律通篇语句全部以人称词做主语；但是，如果我们多去分析阅读材料中英美本族人士的写作篇章，我们发现他们的文章中很大部分语句是以动作和事物作为主语。因此，为达到语言多样性要求，第一条建议就是大家在用句时可以考虑将部分语句主语进行替换，实现多样化。例如：

　　a. introducing children earlier to study foreign languages is deeply recommended by some educationists.

　　在该句中，原句作者并未将此句写成大家更为熟悉的：some educationist deeply recommend to have children introduced to study foreign languages earlier. 相反，作者选用introducing children earlier to study foreign languages 动名词词组做主语，逻辑上用动作，而非人作主语，给大家带来眼前一亮的感觉。

　　b. the obvious argument in its favor is that young children pick up languages much more easily than teenagers.

　　在该句中，原文作者没有采取中国考生最为推崇的some people are favoring that young children pick up languages much more easily than teenagers. 而已这些人所持有的argument作为主语达到语言表达上的多样性。

　　c. it is too absolute to define university education as the most important factor in a person’s successful.

　　在该例句中，作者同样利用表动作的不定式“to define university education as the most important factor in a person’s successful”。

　　类似的例子还有：

　　-Focusing on sports facilities is too narrow an approach and would not have the desired results.

　　-The 21st century has already witnessed too much catastrophes.

　　-Rarely ever has history seen a man or society kick back or relax.

　　-Reactions to World Wars one and two in expressed by the artistic community and historically do not support the idea that the world is changing for the better.

　　因此，为了达到语言多样性这一需求，同学们可以从较为简单的方法入手，改变传统千篇一律的语言习惯，适当选择主语，可以结合被动语态物化主语，或去动作化句中主语，改变语言表达习惯。

　　（2）具体概念抽象化

　　常看英美人士所写出阅读材料的考生一定会有印象关于英语本族人士对于名词性从句的应用。实际上，从语言学分支方向语用学角度分析，英语本族人士对于名词性从句的运用正好体现了英语具体概念抽象化这一特征。例如：

　　a. What we had learnt from the environmental crisis paved the way for us to consolidate the idea about environmental protection.

　　在该例句子，该考生并未按照中国学生的传统表达方式将此句写为：the lessons that we had learnt from the environmental crisis paved the way for us to consolidate the idea about environmental protection, 而是直接利用主语从句what we had learnt from the environmental crisis作为该句主语。

　　b. by providing them with periodical training programs, managers hope workers to employ what they have acquired from the workshop to minimize the possibility of making mistakes.

　　在该句中，作者将to employ the knowledge learnt from the workshop 替换成了宾语从句what they have acquired from the workshop去体现其语言方面的多样性。

　　c. What motivates people to change is a relentless and innate desire for self-improvement.

　　甚至在College board提供的某篇满分SAT作文中，该考生也在开篇第一句利用主语从句替换传统语言表达习惯。

　　因此，作为建议达到语言多样性要求的建议之二，也重点推荐考生在习惯性利用定语从句的同时也多去思考，学习习惯使用名词性从句实现具体概念抽象化。

　　那么讲完了variety后，我们在一起看一看briefness到底讲的是什么。

　　Ⅱ BRIEFNESS

　　同学们上初中以来一定特别骄傲能写出一套长句，尤其是在学会使用定语从句后。而然，就在我们乐此不疲孜孜不倦的使用从句从句从句时，却不知，例如这样的句子“I ate an apple which had been given by Marry who comes from USA which is a state in North America that is a continent on the earth which is the only one planet with the trace of living creatures in the whole galaxy”却会完全让你们的读者抓狂。实际上，在我们累计了一定阅读素材后，我们不难发现，英语本族那些老外在书写时，尤其针对信息量很大的正式文时，却往往习惯使用各种成分去替换从句。掌握这一规律后，推荐大家好好学习非谓语动词一章概念，看看如何利用不定式，分词等替换咱们的定语从句和状语从句。

　　a. From his smile it was evident that Burton had successfully reached an agreement to avert a strike.

　　在该例句中，作者并未使用大家更为熟悉的定语从句that would avert a strike去修饰an agreement，而实用不定式动作to avert a strike做定语。

　　b. Having been Lesile’s teammate for three basketball seasons, Claire Knew that Leslie had the experience and temperament requiring of a good team captain.

　　在该句中，作者利用现在分词完成时引导原因状语having been Lesile’s teammate for three basketball seasons替换了原因状语从句because he had been Lesile’s teammate for three basketball seasons.

　　类似例句还有：

　　-Traveling through Yosemite, we photographed the beautiful scenery of waterfalls and granite peaks.

　　-Carried by the strong, dry winds of the stratosphere, dust from the 1980 eruption of Mount Saint Helens crossed the United States in three days and circled the globe in two weeks.

　　-Used as a writing material in ancient Egypt, papyrus was made from a type of plant that flourished in the Nile Valley.

　　结语

　　拥有一个突破性的写作分数看似不是一件容易的事，但是我们在充分了解到考官到底想要怎么样的文章之后，便可以根据其评分标准得出自己的备考方案。再尝试独立写作语言功底方面，上面若干建议能够极大的帮助同学总结提升语言基本功，写出考官希望得到的语句，帮助大家得到心仪的分数

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