双语阅读：两招看穿英国人的“彬彬有礼”

英国人看似文质彬彬，有时候却能给人“致命一击”。想想汤姆•希德勒斯顿（Tom Hiddlestone） 在电影《雷神》里的形象，或是阿伦•瑞克曼（Alan Rickman）饰演的所有角色——你会发现好莱坞电影特别热衷于把礼貌的英国人塑造成神级恶棍。他们往往是笑面虎一样的人，性格扭曲，常常笑嘻嘻地就把对手送进了坟墓。礼仪是英国社会的粉饰剂和润滑油。在局外人看来，每个英国人都儒雅斯文，富有人格魅力。可事实并非如此。

SARCASM AND UNDERSTATEMENT

第一招：看穿讽刺(sarcasm)和轻描淡写（understatement）

There are two principle methods by which a Brit can seem polite whilst meaning the opposite: with sarcasm and understatement. A cunning operator will be able to deploy both at the same time.

讽刺和轻描淡写是英国人说话的两种原则，通过这两种方式，英国人可以做到表面很礼貌，内心很狂躁。而狡猾的人往往会同时使用这两种方法。

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For instance, I recently saw a sign on an umbrella rack that read: 'Could the gentleman who 'borrowed' a grey umbrella please return it at his earliest convenience. Thank you.' It is faultlessly polite, though of course what it really means is 'if you're the bloke who stole the umbrella, bring it back.'

举个例子。我最近看到一个雨伞架上贴着一张便条，上面写着：“那位‘借走了’一把灰色雨伞的先生，可否请您在方便的时候尽早还回来？万分感谢。” 从表面上看，这句话礼貌得无懈可击，可实际上写便条的人是在叫嚣：“喂，偷了伞的臭小子，快把伞还回来。”

The real meaning is obvious to any readers fluent in British politeness, and they won't be fooled by the techniques deployed. Firstly, there's the use of 'gentleman', subtle sarcasm as of course no real gentleman would ever pinch a brolly; indeed, no gentleman would leave the house without his own. Then there is the more obvious sarcasm of 'borrow' (indicated by the use of inverted commas). It would be coarse to mention theft, though of course it's what we're all thinking.

熟悉英式礼貌的人一眼就能看出这句话的玄机，再狡猾的掩饰也骗不了他们。首先，这句话微妙地讽刺偷伞者为“先生（gentleman）”，可真正的“先生”才不会偷伞，而且，没有“先生”会不带雨伞就出门。“借”字则是更明显的讽刺了（而且还故意加上了引号）。赤裸裸地说“偷”毕竟太粗鲁，不过即使是“借”字，作者的指责也不言而喻了。

The invitation to return the umbrella at 'earliest convenience' is again misleading – the notice demands nothing short of immediate return. Finally there is the inclusion of 'please' and 'thank you', which serve no function at all. This polite request is, when translated, a stern command: the chap who nicked the umbrella should be very scared indeed.

“方便时尽早还回来”也是话里有话——说白了就是敦促拿伞的人立马归还。最后，“请”和“万分感谢”都是空话。这则礼貌的请求实际上是一种严厉的命令。那个顺手牵羊的的小子看到这则告示应该会汗毛竖起才对吧。

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FALSE APOLOGIES

第二招：听懂虚假的道歉

The iconic British queue is rife with false politeness. A queue jumper is reviled, but will rarely be challenged. If confrontation is necessary, the correct form is to say 'I'm sorry, but I think I was in front of you'. This of course means 'get to the back’. Don't be fooled: 'I think' means 'I know'.

英国人以热爱排队而著名，这是他们彬彬有礼的一种表现。不过，排队的过程中也充满了“虚假的”英国式礼貌。插队的人会被指责，但很少被叫板（因为礼貌嘛）。即便是正面交锋，人们也只会说：“不好意思，我想我应该是排在你前面的吧。”（看起来还是很礼貌）。可潜台词却是：“滚到后面去。”

'I'm sorry' is included because the British cannot refrain from apologising in any marginal case. If in doubt it's best to apologise. If you bump into someone in the street, regardless of who's fault it is, it is rude not to say sorry. The same applies in road traffic accidents. A British apology is not by any means always sarcastic, even in the most extreme circumstances.

所以，不要被表象欺骗了，人家说“我想”的意思就是“我知道。”人家说“不好意思”只是因为习惯了——英国人什么情况都离不开道歉，有任何疑问的时候先道歉就准没错。要是在街上撞到人，不管谁是谁非都要先道歉，不道歉就显得粗鲁了。路上的交通事故也一样。不过，英国式道歉也不都像前面说的排队那样，充满讽刺。即使在最极端的情况下，他们也忘不了道歉。詹姆士•邦德的塑造者伊恩•弗莱明，在临终时对救护车上的医务人员说：“给你们添麻烦了，实在抱歉。”

Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond, spoke his last words to the staff in the ambulance as they rushed him to hospital: 'I am sorry to trouble you chaps'. The British don't like to cause a scene, and this desire explains their polite approach to confrontation.

英国人不喜欢在公共场合大吵大闹，因此他们面对冲突时也会礼貌应对——虽然不一定是真的礼貌。 

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